Empty the Garbage
Some people hold on to old grudges as if they are special treasures! Actually, they are like last week's garbage - they stink!
This doesn't mean to ignore your history with certain people. Rather, it means that you don't allow old grudges to pollute your current mental space. Use past experiences simply as information to help your decision-making going forward.
Look at the example and select the best way to deal with an old grudge.
Questions
The first option is definitely the better choice. Use your experience with Joan to change your own behavior and attitude regarding her trustworthiness in keeping your confidences.
The second option is much less likely to help you release your anger at Joan. Telling a lot of people will keep the grudge alive and hold up your ability to move on from the negative feelings.
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