Here is a series of steps to help you take a closer look at your attitudes. For this exercise we'll look at the experience of anger. You can use these same steps to look at other difficult attitudes. These steps can be used to help you understand various emotions and their associated thoughts.
Acknowledge your "bad" mood or attitude. Don't make yourself wrong for having a particular emotion or mood. Emotions are information.
Recognize and name the main mood. Be as specific as possible. Are you feeling angry? Resentful? Irritated?
Identify any reactions caused by your mood, such as sarcasm, irritability, acting condescending, being abrupt with people, or exploding in angry outbursts. Do you say and do things you regret later, like pound your fist on the table and stomp out of the room, speak sarcastically to your family member, or push aside someone in your way?
What feelings are below the surface? What is driving the anger? Fear, sadness, and other emotions may be below the surface.
Tune in to your body. Are you tense? Are you very tired or exhausted? Are you feeling hot or chilled, sweaty, etc.? Do you feel like your blood pressure is up?
STOP and take the pulse of your anger and ask yourself what messages you are giving yourself about a given situation. This could be messages like:
"This is totally unfair."
"He is soooo full of crap!"
"I could just kill her for that."
What triggered the mood? See if you can figure out the situation and/or people that triggered your mood For example, "I had a hard day and I was exhausted. Then my husband criticized the meal I fixed for him." Being physically and/or mentally tired can put you at risk for feeling angry.
Think about different ways to respond to your triggers. Some ideas are taking a brisk walk to let off steam, engaging in something pleasurable, and getting outdoors to do some hunting, bird watching, hiking, or biking.
Here is an example list of benefits:
Less regrets.
Feel better about myself and more in control of my emotions.
Healthier relationships.